Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Seven Hundred Eighty

March 4, 2018
8.20 Miles in 1:18:40
Mood: Depending upon the good will of friendly janitors.
Soundtrack: Keane "Hopes and Fears" / Trampled by Turtles "Stars and Satellites"

This is no laxative on earth more powerful than running. I ran half a mile to start out my morning, when I realized suddenly and urgently that a toilet needed to be in my immediate future...or else. Luckily, I was right next to the Wash Park Boathouse, so I headed towards their well maintained facilities in a bit of a rush.

As I arrived, the cleaning lady was walking out of the mens' room. When the situation is desperate, you don't worry to much about social niceties, so I headed straight to the stall, and noticed that there was not a square of toilet paper. I walked back to the janitor's closet that is stationed in between the mens' and ladies' rooms and meekly asked if she had any toilet paper.

She replied with a friendly, but business like, "Actually, the restrooms are closed when we're cleaning."

I gave her my most desperate face and honestly said, "I completely understand that. HOWEVER, I have to poop very badly."

To which she ironically said, "Oh $#*t!"

Without missing a beat I said, "Exactly."

She brought me the toilet paper. Also, she is my hero.

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